I then realised that it cant of been the dog. But I still didn't know what it was. I let the dog back into the house and the chanting changed into " How horrible are you blaming the dog and locking him outside, your a horrible person, you must be punished" Since that day IT has never gone away. My voice is male and demonic and dictates to me and my actions.
Hearing voices can present itself in many ways:
- Bad voices
-Good voices
- Many voices- all different
-A recognisable voice
- Voices that make you laugh
- Voices that help you
-Voices that want to destroy you etc...
Whichever applies to the person suffering it is still traumatic no matter which type of voice they hear. Its also rather annoying to have a constant running commentary 24/7. It is physically and mentally exhausting as it requires all of your strength to fight it. When I am stable I can ignore what is been said, if I am in crisis the voice is at is most intense and I am ruled by it both mentally and physically.
Mental health professionals have said that I need to accept that I am two different people and that the voice is actually my own thought processes and not actually another being in my head. I did and still refuse to believe that my thought processes could come up with such comments and dictations. Aimee does not think or feel those things and certainly doesn't want to act the way that the voice tells me to. I am a kind and caring person but IT is not. I feel like I am a long way off ever trying to accept this as part of me, its not me, I don't want to be near it and I want it to go away.
I am still awaiting therapy for hearing voices as he voice is always the one to hold my recovery back. Until then its myself and IT at war all day everyday.