There are more than one type of personality disorder. They all differ from one another, some of the symptoms are the same but others aren't. They each cause distressing symptoms and abnormal behaviour. The abnormal behaviour can be seen in a negative way by others if they are not armed with information about what to expect.
Symptoms that are apparent in all personality disorder are;
- extreme and overwhelming feelings. E.g Sadness, anger, useless, loneliness ...etc
- being unable to manage those overwhelming feelings without the use of self harm, drugs, alcohol or overdoses.
- difficult making and maintaining positive relationships.
- not being in contact with reality. Not being aware of what is going on around you.
- threat of harm towards others
The symptoms that are normally associated with the borderline type of personality disorder;
- being emotionally unstable- you can go from laughing and happy to suicidal and sad and content to intense anger in seconds.
-perception and thought processes become disturbed
-behaviour is impulsive, towards others,self harm and reactions towards others. I think the worlds problems are mine and I can solve them. I react impulsively to new news, others and try to gain relief through self harm. If I am in a bad way my self harm is used as a discipline to rid myself of ' ridiculous' and warped thoughts and feelings.
-unstable but extremely intense relationships with others.
- thoughts that upset you , like thinking you are a terrible and impossible to love. I repeat questions like Do you love me? More than 10 times a day some days.
-strange and distressing experiences, such as hearing voices on the outside of your own head or not knowing what reality is. I question if people in a busy supermarket are really there.
- abnormal experiences outside of the body such as distressing beliefs and hallucinations. I see relatives that have passed and black mists and believe they come to take me. This causes an increase in suicide ideation to gain control back.
Borderline personality disorder means that you live a life with psychosis, neurosis and and depression. You can be one or the other or a mix of all three. It fluctuates in seconds.
Neurosis is expressing mental distress but you can still tell what is reality and what is not.
Psychosis is mental distress but not knowing what is reality and what is just a thought or belief. This is where hallucinations and perceptions are warped.
On top of this you have intense emotions present in depression sadness, worthlessness, loneliness etc.
As you can see it can become very intense, frightening and disturbing all at once.
Research has concluded that borderline personality disorder can be a combination of both genetic and environmental factors. Environmental factors can link right back to childhood traumas, events and abuse. 8 out of 10 of those with BPD has has experience of physical,sexual or emotional abuse for prolonged periods in childhood.
BPD is a serious mental health condition. It is well know about the extremely high risk of self harm and suicides / attempts. A scary 60-70% of BPD sufferers will attempt suicide at some point during their life. Some sadly succeed some don't.
Asking for help is the way forward. There is no cure sadly but it can be controlled and managed with self help, professionals, medication and psychotherapists. There is no quick fix and stability is a blessing. I am also lucky enough to have a good family support network but unfortunately others do not. Professionals can put you in contact with peers that all have mental health in common. This helps with the intense feelings of loneliness. It's a long road but you can maintain stability for longer periods, during this time you can live a more stable and happier life. It never goes away but for a sufferer any positive steps forward are euphoric and greatly appreciated.