- I cannot get dressed in a morning before I have been to the toilet. I also get ready for the day in an order. Toilet, brush teeth, wash face, knickers on, trousers on, socks in, bra on, t-shirt on, hair up, cleanse face, moisturise face, glasses on. If I do not follow this or I am rushing the day does not start on a good note. It can dictate my mood for the rest of the day.
-I shower in order too. Toilet, in shower, shampoo, wash face, rinse shampoo, apply conditioner, wash body, rinse conditioner, wash face again, apply in shower moisturiser, rinse then out. Wrap hair in one towel, wrap body in another. If I don't follow this routine I feel unclean and dirty. These emotions are the reason I clean so careful and precisely. When I wash my body it is head to toe , back and front with a coarse sponge. I feel better when my skin tingles. It feels clean.
- I eat in order too. It depends on which meal I am eating each food has its own order. A Sunday dinner would be eaten in this order; meat, stuffing, mix potatoes and vegetables and add extra gravy at this point mix it all together and eat it. Fish and chips; mushy peas, chips I make them into a chip butty then fish. If I don't eat in order I don't enjoy it. I like to taste each food differently and struggle with mixed textures when I don't have an appetite.
- I clean the house in a certain way. It has to be hygienically clean and then buffed and polished for aesthetic reasons. I have to leave a certain pattern on the carpet when vacing. I have to polish all glass, shiny surfaces, chrome and stainless steel. Things should be set out equally and evenly including remotes. The bathroom is cleaned in a particular order and rooms in the house are cleaned in order.
-The launder is done in order. I have to have all the washing from each person at the same time. All darks washed first, then whites then delicates. Towels and bedding are done separately. The clothes are not clean if I don't follow the routine.
- I clean to express emotions of anger and frustration. I clean my parents house weekly to help me rid the guilt of my teenage antics. It makes them happy and my mum can rest. Then being happy makes me feel better.
- each meal I cook has its own cooking order. If I stray I actually do make mistakes and then become panicky.
There are lots more I'm sure but these are the ones that cannot be strayed from. It can cause me to feel more relaxed, but if it doesn't go to plan it can cause panic and anxiety. It's complex and sometimes leads to me telling everyone off. Especially if they interject a routine. It's has to be done, it's has to be finished and it has to be done in order. OCD is not a diagnosis that stands alone it can come with any mental health issues, including fears and thoughts that are not always rational. People can become obsessed when they have a baby, they can clean constantly in fear of germs harming the newborn. It then often continues when the child is older. It becomes a ritual easily and when task are completed perfectly you can rest. It is so tiring and along with my muscular side affects from medication it can also feel like I am paralysed but in great pains when I stop. Make it work in your favour! Don't be an OCD slave.