When I love some one, Its devours me entirely. There is nothing I wont do to provide and protect for that person even if they don't want me to. It is as automatic as a basic instinct. I will not let anyone or anything threaten or come in between that love. On the other hand I cant just not like some one......I hate them. This is usually people that do me or the ones I love wrong or threaten the love stated above. One wrong word can leave you on the hate list. For a person with mental illness both of the above can be dangerous, you can become so wrapped up in love and hate that your actions lead you! I have people around me to keep me in check and tell me that they can cope without me and do things for themselves and also tell me not to harm everyone that is in my path that say do do me wrong.
Sometimes I can come across a stubborn. I am not easily talked out of a desision if I have made my mind up. It is either yes I am or no I'm not. When I ask another person a question like' are you ok?' it is a simple yes or a no because anything in between allows my mind to wonder and don't dare stutter because I will doubt your answer and franticlly try and find the truthful one, even if your first answer was truthful. If you say no I will ask another question......if you say yes...im happy with that.
I either like something or I don't like it. its as simple as that. I wont 'try it' if I can help it because its way out of my comfort zone if . This applies to all preferences I may have about objects, activites, what some one has done or said.....and the list goes on. When my thinking is clearer I can be brought round to think it through and process it and see it a different way. I mostly have to come up with this when I am ready, not when I am asked to.
I either approve or disapprove of things -no in between. I either approve or disapprove of things such as ....parenting or some ones behaviour. finding redeeming qualities are not my strong point. If I approve I will back it up and fight my corner, even when I am wrong.
As you can see this style of thinking can impact on everday life and relationships. I sometimes become frightened of making choices and my reactions towards others. It can cause trouble and when I am thinking clearly I sit and doubt every choice I have made, But on the other hand it can make me into the most loving, loyal and brutally honest person you will meet. it just depends whick side your on ..................black or white.